Coping with Social Anxiety During the Holidays
With the start of December, we enter the month of holiday parties, friends and family, and of course New Years Eve. This can be a very joyous time, but also a very stressful when you are dealing with social anxiety.
Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interacting with other people, usually because of a fear of judgement from others.
So, understandably, this time of year is hard! If you do struggle with social anxiety during the holidays, here are a few tools you can equip yourself with:
Be Curious about your social anxiety thoughts
When you’re in a cab heading to that party you may feel that pit of your stomach and want to tell the driver to take you home. In that moment, ask yourself, “what thoughts are coming to my mind right now? What might I be assuming will or won’t happen when I get to the holiday party?” Are you worried about having no one to talk to or are you afraid you may say something dumb to your new coworker? Noticing these thoughts can allow us to start evaluating them.
We actually are not great at guessing what will happen in the future so try and remind yourself of all possibilities, good and bad, that could happen while you’re at the party. As what is the most probable outcome.
Overestimating Risk, Underestimating Ourselves
Often when people are dealing with social anxiety, they are overestimating the risk of what might go wrong and underestimating their resources to cope. Have you ever noticed that when you were anxious, you thought, “I can’t handle this”?
Usually, we actually handle things better in the moment than what we think we are capable of.
Some things to consider: Am I underestimating my ability to handle my anxiety? Have I ever been in a similar situation? If so, how did I cope then? If I have had past experiences that didn’t go well, what might I want to do differently this time? What is one thing I can do as an experiment when I get to the party? (can I talk to one new person? Can I ask someone what they are doing for the holiday?)
Taking Control (In Small Steps!)
Take some small steps. If you didn’t go out last year for new years, maybe make a plan to get dinner with friends. If you have a party to attend, see if you can go for a short time instead of not at all. Find alternative things to do aside from just going to a party as the way to celebrate. While sometimes staying home can feel the safest, it tends to make us less likely to socialize in the future. It can be a vicious cycle!
Pushing our way through anxiety in reasonably-sized chunks is a great way to overcome anxiety.
Calendar in time for you.
As good as it can be to push yourself out there and have fun, it is also good to make time for yourself to re-calibrate. Prioritize time for yourself and schedule in nights for yourself. As tempting as it might be to do it all, try to learn what works best for you.