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What to do When it’s Complicated on Valentine’s Day

By February 5, 2018Uncategorized

What to do if things are complicated on Valentine’s Day


If you’ve walked into a Duane Reade or watched commercials in the past week, then you are probably aware of the impending Valentine’s Day and it may be bringing up feelings about your relationship status. Whether you’re single, in a committed relationship, or working through a complicated situation, it can be a big reminder of where you currently are and where you wish you would be. Additionally, this time of year can also remind us of how uncertain romantic relationships and dating are. Will it last forever or end soon? Am I happy? Is my partner(s) satisfied? The analysis can be daunting.

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This year, instead of focusing on what we don’t know and triggering anxiety, lets focus on the things we do have a little more control over. There are many things that deserve our attention, and in doing so, can greatly improve our present and future lives regardless of our Facebook relationship status.


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Areas we can change:



While relationship status has importance, there are other aspects of our lives that can provide us with a sense of purpose. Some questions we may want to ask ourselves could be:

“Am I where I want to be in my career?

What are some of the things I like about my job and place of work and what might I want to change?

What step can I take this month to get me on track to work towards my goals?”


Yes, your family and friends may not bring you chocolates on Valentine’s Day but they can bring you a lot of joy and worth. Today could be a good day to reach out to an old friend to check in or to call that sibling you’ve been meaning to get in touch with. You can also set a new goal of meeting new people and take today to look for one new activity you can try in the city that may introduce you to new people. Whatever you decide, know that you are taking control and working on creating meaningful relationships.


So finances may not sound sex but part of self-love is taking care of your financial future.

Reevaluate your financial goals and see if you should make any changes.

Use this day as a reminder to set up the IRA that you’ve been putting off. Or draft a savings/budgeting plan for a trip to visit an area of the world that is on your bucket list!

Additionally, you can celebrate love in the world and the things you’re grateful for by focusing on doing things that bring you happiness throughout the day. There are numerous activities that you can do to avoid “F.O.M.O” and have an amazing time!

Activities to do if things are complicated on Valentine’s Day


Take an art class

Get in touch with your creative side by taking a painting class with a few friends. There are many “sip and paint” classes throughout the city. This would be a great way to do an activity inside to avoid the freezing weather!

Pamper yourself with your favorite things

Make yourself a spa appointment for a facial or a massage, or splurge on a gift for yourself. It is a day for focusing on all the things that make you happy. Don’t hesitate to show yourself love!

Be with those who bring you joy

Surround yourself with the people you love, friends and family. Get a massive dinner with those closest to you. There is nothing better than laughter and good conversation paired with delicious food. Plus, many places are doing deals for Valentine’s Day.

Take a mini vacation

This year Valentine’s Day is on a Wednesday, so why not make a 5 day weekend out of it. February is the coldest month of the year so take a quick trip to warmer climates or organize a mini ski trip with friends!

This day can be especially difficult for those of us who feel that our current situation is very far off from what we want romantically.

All of the above are small steps that you can take today to create small change. While it won’t change your romantic life, is can set you up to be in a healthy place for when the right person comes along. It is important to take care of yourself and try to stay present.

If you notice a lot of negative thoughts about your future romantic life like, “I’ll never meet anyone”, try asking what things you thought would never happen 5 years ago and became a reality today. As you can imagine, we are not the best as fortunetelling so lets stay in 2018 for today.


If you, or anyone you know, struggles with relationship issues, we can help. Reach out today to learn more about individual and couples therapy.


By Danica Spence, LMSW

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